Tuesday, 21 April 2026 @ 8:45 pm
0 starespeople love to say that they find an anchor in me and so i wonder what the main driver behind that is.
i’m noticing that compassion is one of the greatest forms of love - the way it speaks when it has nothing to prove. it is someone who does not keep a ledger of your unraveling. who does not love you because you are easy, but loves you so they stay when you are not. and patience is that love sitting beside you in the middle of it, not checking the clock.
i have found these. in more than one person. in family who never stop believing in me, friends who never made me earn my keep. in partners who softened and never used my wounds as weapons. and in people who saw my unfolding and did not turn away.
they did not love the best version of me. they loved me. as i was, in my entirety. on heavy mornings and silent nights, all the messy in-between. somehow, that is what made me grow, not from shame nor pressure. just from the steadiness of being loved so wholly, so abundantly. i wanted to become someone worthy of that kind of faith; one that’s helped me blossom in return. thank you for giving me the room to grow alongside you.
how lucky i have been, to find and been found in return, many times.
dear universe
i see when you shower me with love
for that i am grateful
Tuesday, 14 April 2026 @ 8:41 pm
0 stareshave you seen the movie Past Lives? i had never come across something so beautifully written and depicted.
i’ve been sitting with the different ways people come to know me. not all at once. very rarely in the same language. some arrive like a hand on a doorframe: steady, patient, asking nothing. others come as laughter that stays in the room long after they leave, as small exchanges that weigh more than their words, as a flicker behind the eyes that says i see you before i even speak.
somewhere in the middle of all these unspoken things, i’ve been reminded that to be loved is to be known. and what a strange and tender thing it is, to be seen with such certainty, as if the shape of me has already been drawn, as if every corner has already been visited. i almost smile at the thought, because i know how much of me still lives in the shadows just beyond that reach. still, there is something gentle in it, in the way people hold onto their version of you with such ease.
maybe some things about me have changed, maybe everything has. in between what is known and what remains untouched, i’ve noticed a difference: not in how i am seen, but in how i hold myself. less like a locked door. less like a question waiting to be answered. i realised i do not need to be fully understood to be deeply felt. like rain on a window. like a name spoken in a dream.
i have left an imprint on everyone. a ghost of myself in the rooms they keep.
Wednesday, 8 April 2026 @ 11:36 pm
0 staresi have always been the one to leave, to pack my suitcase and move halfway across the world. i was never one to bear the responsibility of saying goodbye because i know i will find my way back, i know you will see me again. this time, it is now my turn to stay still whilst the other leaves. the writer has come out of hiding only to find herself at a loss for words.
where do i even start? i am still in denial. time waits for no one. the clock is ticking and the date is approaching yet here i am scraping for words to say. i am in utter disbelief that this chapter will end soon, so it coincides with the lunar new year. my best friend, the best thing that has ever happened to me in the entirety of my expatriate journey, is leaving to come home, after a long 9 years. i am incredibly excited for her to embark on this new journey, close to everything that defined who she is, and next to her fiancé.
undernearth all the happiness and bursts of gratitude i feel, there lies sadness, fear, and anxiety. i will forever mourn the loss of not living in the same continent as her. i learnt that proximity is a privilege.
two months later and it has felt like forever
