i have always been the one to leave, to pack my suitcase and move halfway across the world. i was never one to bear the responsibility of saying goodbye because i know i will find my way back, i know you will see me again. this time, it is now my turn to stay still whilst the other leaves. the writer has come out of hiding only to find herself at a loss for words.

where do i even start? i am still in denial. time waits for no one. the clock is ticking and the date is approaching yet here i am scraping for words to say. i am in utter disbelief that this chapter will end soon, so it coincides with the lunar new year. my best friend, the best thing that has ever happened to me in the entirety of my expatriate journey, is leaving to come home, after a long 9 years. i am incredibly excited for her to embark on this new journey, close to everything that defined who she is, and next to her fiancé. 

undernearth all the happiness and bursts of gratitude i feel, there lies sadness, fear, and anxiety. i will forever mourn the loss of not living in the same continent as her. i learnt that proximity is a privilege. 

two months later and it has felt like forever